In September, 2001 Debbi Green was a third-grade teacher at Kellogg Elementary School in Chula Vista when a second-grade teacher said she was sending Green a student who needed a lot of help.
“Second grade was his first year of schooling. The boy was living on the street with his brother and mother. She disappeared, and he was placed in foster care,” Green recalled.
Green, who was only in her second year of teaching, thought to herself, “What am I going to do with this child?”
Little did she know. …
Born in 1974 and raised in Chula Vista, Green grew up wanting to be a teacher. “I loved learning and teaching. Even at an early age, when my younger sister and I played, I was the teacher and she was the student.”
She has always valued the teacher-student connection. “Children need to know you care for them if you expect them to work for you,” she said.
When Green met the boy, Sean, in September, 2001, he was a shy, quiet 8-year-old who lacked confidence. Spanish was his primary language.
His Court Appointed Special Advocate, Art Tabanao, ed Green several weeks into the semester to discuss Sean and his brother, Luis (then 10).
It was clear both boys needed connection and guidance.
Green offered to help Luis and Sean after school. The boys came to her classroom every day from 3:15, when school let out, to 4:30.
“Their foster home was near the school. I could tell they didn’t want to go home. They would eat snacks and do homework. They came every day during the school year.”
“As he got to know me, Sean always wanted to hold my hand and be next to me,” Green said. “He came out of his shell.”
“As for me, I fell in love with these boys.
“In February [2002], I decided to adopt them.”
“I was only 27 and single living in a two-bedroom condo. Friends tried to talk me out of it. They said I would ruin my life and never get married.
“I tried to talk myself out of it. But I kept coming back to my feelings and the importance of motherhood. My mother was the most ive.”
The boys’ then foster mom was against the proposed adoption, as were the boys’ social worker and his supervisor.
“The supervisor was adamantly opposed,” Green recalled. “He yelled at me, was nasty and demanded that I stop harassing the social worker. He said I would never adopt the boys — I was too young, single and a different race. Then, he hung up on me.”
Green was crushed. “I cried a lot, but eventually decided I wasn’t going to let this stop me.”
“So, I ed Art [Tabanao] who, along with Voices for Children and the boys’ dependency court lawyers, convinced the social workers to accept me as the boys’ new foster mom with the possibility that someday I might adopt them.”
Green adopted them in 2004 when the boys were 12 and 14.
“The first few years were tough,” she said. “They tested me and there was some back-talk. I received good advice that I had to be strict and consistent because they hadn’t had structure.”
“I constantly told them not to dwell on their background. Many people have it harder. ‘You have a second chance,’ I would say. ‘Don’t waste it.’”
Today, Luis, 33, and Sean, 31, are business owners. Luis is married with four children.
Green is in her 24th year teaching at Kellogg and is a mentor for new teachers. She lives in Chula Vista with her husband — Sean’s former baseball coach — whom she married after the boys graduated high school.
Her goal is to someday teach homeless children at Monarch School in San Diego.
Green is proud of her family of love and choice. “I fell in love with two little boys and wanted to adopt them. At the time I didn’t think it was a big thing, but it was remarkable,” she said.
“I am now blessed with children and grandchildren.”
About this series
Goldsmith is a Union-Tribune contributing columnist.
We welcome reader suggestions of people who have done something extraordinary or otherwise educational, inspiring or interesting and who have not received much previous media. Please send suggestions to Jan Goldsmith at [email protected]
