Sez Me …
We have arrived at the NFL Draft Showroom, and although many models are handsome, provocative machines on the outside, the aroma of lemon can be masked by the new car smell.
A casual glance under the hood isn’t enough, and the buyers all too often are blinded by how their prizes appear in a driveway, rather than driveability on the real road.
April is Liar’s Month. And for decades, the NFL owned it — until politicians, the Lyin’ Kings, somehow discovered a field of gullible sheep and shepherded dishonesty into a vote-getting activity.
It’s close now, but the League’s football people still get the nod during the month that begins with a Fool’s Day. It’s NFL Draft Week, when seldom is heard an honest word, and like Barnum’s suckers, they get licked all day by the more advanced prevaricators.
To make matters worse, this is a quarterback draft, and there isn’t anything close to a slam dunk. Not so much as a layup among the qualifiers. And yet the wheel is going to be spun early and often by the desperate suitors.
Adding to the storyline is uncertainty surrounding a few veteran QBs who have been good enough to be named League MVPs — Green Bay’s Aaron Rodgers (four times) and Baltimore’s Lamar Jackson (once).
Rodgers wants to go to the Jets, and the Jets want him. No deal yet. Aaron’s 39. New York isn’t giving up Wall Street for him.
Jackson is 26, the most dangerous person on any football field, and terribly unhappy with the Ravens for not meeting his guaranteed salary demands. There is no quarterback in this draft who even approaches his ability — and he’s still close in age to some — but the owners seem united (a nice word for it) in holding the guaranteed-money line and haven’t even given a proven Porsche like Lamar a test drive.
Meanwhile, it appears at least five QBs will go in Thursday’s first round and every one has questions that can’t be answered until the gate is opened. Who knows what scouts think about anybody when a few fools place more on what they do in silly drills than what they did during games?
Film, man. It does not lie.
Will lying affect this draft? It appears Ohio State’s C.J. Stroud, who has been considered as the No. 1 overall pick, is being questioned over his commitment thanks to his skipping a Manning Quarterback camp he had said he would attend. This, and perhaps the result of a cognitive test.
By all s, Stroud is a standup guy, but we’ve all seen what can happen when innuendo and rumors tackle these prospects. As in 1983, when Dan Marino was accused of being a stoner, and he slipped to the bottom of the first round.
It used to be that, if you busted on a QB early in the draft, it took forever to recover because they demanded so much money. That’s not the case now. I wonder who takes a chance on Florida’s Anthony Richardson, who may be the most physically gifted quarterback in maybe … ever. But he’s so raw, he will be on the burner for a while before he cooks.
It used to be that running backs were a , but that clock has run out of time. The thing to do now is to get rid of a drafted back after his rookie deal expires (12 RBs have been taken in the first rounds of the last 10 drafts). Texas’s Bijan Robinson is being called a “generational back,” which means that, if this draft, with these QBs, was held before everyone got -happy, he would be the first player taken.
But you’ve got to run the ball. Nobody throws it like K.C., right? Patrick Mahomes ed for 182 yards vs. the Eagles in the Super Bowl. The Chiefs ran for 158. Check Patrick’s other championship.
All I know is that, if I needed a running back, and there was a great one there, I’d take him.
Anyway, I love this week, and this may morph into the craziest since 1936, when Jay Berwanger became the first overall No. 1 pick and opted to work for a rubber company.
Meteorologists may clock this draft blowing 2,023 mph. …
Check … me out. On the same day Fernando Tatis Jr. returns and goes 0-for-5, Twitter bombs my blue check. Fernando will be fine. No check? Oh, the humanity! …
Calm down. Padres need a Laxative Night for their fans. …
The Browns, in their present stadium since 1999, are getting a new one. That’s Cleveland, Ham & Eggers. Cleveland, Ohio. I guess “Mistake on the Lake” is preferable to “Mistakes on the Ocean.” …
Despite Joe Burrow’s hatred for it, Skyline Chili has become the official chili of the Cincinnati Bengals. Until that stuff is off the table, so is a championship — and it could affect Joe’s willingness to sign an extension. …
I wish: The next time an umpire inspects Max Scherzer for sticky substances, Max holds up an eye chart. Peeing in a cup in the on-deck circle is next. …
Baseball survival belongs to the cheatingest. Been going on forever. Cripes, let them cheat and get it over with. …
MLB is testing a “designated runner” in the Atlantic League. Can be moved in and out of a game at will. Man, I hate this. Loving it is Usain Bolt, who’s looking at $30 million a year. …
Baseball is doing everything it can to take baseball out of baseball. …
With mattress-pad base stealers now hovering at an 85-percent win rate, the Padres improve their theft capabilities by g Joe Torre. …
Until the next one, Aaron Judge’s glove tip and barehanded grab to take a homer away from Shohei Ohtani is the greatest catch in the history of baseball. …
The Padres’ 1948 minor league unis should be the only ones in their Soviet Union-sized closet. Their best. Easy. …
The A’s are moving to Sin City. A whole lot of things that happen in Vegas can stay in Vegas. But I don’t know if MLB can. …
Survey Sez: San Diego ranks ninth among the best cities in America in which to get stoned. So, do I wear armor on my walks? …
Told ya. It took a New York minute for Jim Trotter, bounced by NFL Media (i.e., Roger Goodell) for asking a question tougher than, “How are you, Roger?” to find work. The Athletic’s boss apparently has skin, spine and cares about journalism. …
Australian ant Lucas Helmke set a new world record for sit-ups in an hour. He was at 3,206 before stopping for his wedding. …
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is threatening to put up a prison near Disney World. EpCon Center. …
A new study shows there are health benefits to eating ice cream. Of course there are. You feel better. …
NFL gendarmes suspend players for gambling, hitting new hypocritical heights. But it will be OK to wager on games once mobile official NFL sports books are allowed into locker rooms. …
Still, how can players risk everything? Gambling is a Siren’s Song I’ve never listened to. …
I’m 100 percent certain. If Bud Light were the only beer in the world, it would not be boycotted.
Twitter: @sdutCanepa
